Upon visiting a psychic recently I have come to realise I am the girl stuck in the well. Sounds a bit like the movie The Ring doesn’t it? Anyway, it’s not that supernatural or anything, but it is quite a strong metaphor. How I see it anyway.
It’s like I am this girl stuck in a well. On my own. And I can get out, I know that I can get out, but I just don’t know how. That’s what my life is like. I feel like I’m stuck in this deep, dark place where I’m lost and lonely where I can’t quite figure out how to get out. I get glimpses of sunshine and happy days, but I can never quite reach the top to get out. And there’s nothing anyone can say or do to help me out. It’s like a puzzle or game that I need to figure out by myself that will enable me to get out.
She (the psychic) also told me I need to stop comparing my life to other people’s lives. Which is quite funny that she told me that because when I try and help people that is one of my solid pieces of advice, so you’d think that I would be practicing what I preach, right? Well, what I didn’t realise is that there are two ways to compare your life to another persons life. One is the standard, you look at someone else’s life and look at what you think you’re missing out on, be it, family, money, friends, a relationship, whatever. But then there’s looking at your life in a greater light to others. Due to me being this girl stuck in the well, and feeling very lost and unhappy with my life at the moment, I try to look at the good things I do have. And in reality, my life is great. I have so much more than most people even dream of. So when I am unhappy as I am, I feel like a spoilt bitch which makes me angry and even more unhappy that I can’t find seem to be happy right now. Truth is, I don’t know what it is I need or want to help me get out of this well or mental pit that I am in. I know I can be happy. I just don’t know how to get there right now. I feel like this post is sounding very selfish which is not my aim at all. It’s hard to explain how I’m feeling. And I guess we all feel lost and broken from time to time and we all struggle with our own different demons.
“we’re just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl”
I also apparently need to express my feelings and emotions more. I often suppress my emotions and avoid what I’m feeling which has lead me to this. So now I need to let it all out to be able to restart. I always think I’m this strong-willed, and independent person who can deal with things on her own. But I think I need to voice to people how I feel so that I can begin to move forward.