Ahhh…it’s that time of the week again where I feel all kinds of weird feelings. For those people who follow my instagram account at all would be well acquainted with the fact that almost every Sunday night I post a photo that correlates to my #sundaynightblues. Oh god, did I just hashtag on my blog?! I admit I have succumbed to the social media path of hashtags, and while I do maintain my hatred for facebook, instagram is my biggest social media weakness. Forgive me, I am not perfect.
Anyhow, today I’m going to blog on feelings of my Sunday night blues. I think I would be correct in assuming many people face these feelings of depression, sometimes anxiety, melancholy, maybe nostalgia, loneliness, whatever, on a Sunday night. But that is the funny thing about feelings, no one’s are quite the same, and no one can really understand how you’re feeling. You can try and explain until you have no energy left or no breath to speak, but the truth is, no one will quite understand how you feel. About anything really. Everyone’s feelings are different and you cannot feel another person’s feelings.
The beginning of my Sunday night blues I think goes back to the days of boarding school and those dreaded Sunday nights before starting school again for the week. Especially if you’d been away somewhere for the weekend, like a friend’s place or out with family, or whatever the case was, returning back to the boarding school on Sunday was a must in turn to get a good nights sleep for Monday morning and a new week ahead. Ever since then, (most) Sunday nights have been a dreaded, uneasy feeling for me. Even when I haven’t had a Mon-Fri job, I still get that feeling of numbness or anxiety.
Tonight is no exception. Tonight I have an uneasy feeling. For no apparent reason, as per usual with my Sunday nights, but nevertheless, the feelings are around and no matter what I do, I cannot shake them. No matter what anyone says or does, nothing will make these feelings vanish. And as much as I try and explain to people how I feel and what my current emotional state is, no one gets it. And maybe no one ever will. Maybe that’s the idea. That we have to push forward and get through things on our own. I sure as hell have done it enough for my liking to know I can survive on my own.
My only cure is to pop on some music, or a sappy TV show, make some tea and lie in bed until I fall asleep and wake up nice and early for a new week that lies ahead of me, bringing whatever it may.