The title of this relates to my childhood. The story however, does not. But allow me to briefly fill you in so that it makes some kind of sense. When I was a child, my mum used to call me “Wally”. Partially due to my love for the Where’s Wally books, but also due to the fact that I was quite a silly, mind-wandering, fairy-tale-living type of person that she thought the nickname was quite fitting.
However, the person that I am missing isn’t quite that young, innocent, naive little girl, but to some extent, it is.
Earlier this year I was in a really good place in my life and was pretty happy. I was motivated, energetic, determined, carefree, and bottom line….happy. I was doing well at uni, I was getting my fitness routine under control, I was eating super clean foods and very healthy overall, I was getting enough sleep each night, my life in general was in a very content and stable place.
Over the last few months, I haven’t been quite that stable. I have lost the girl with all the motivation, happiness, determination, and the desire to be fit and healthy. She seems to have gone walkabout to a place unknown, and has left an empty shell in place of her fun-loving spirited soul. I don’t know where or how I lost who I was, but more importantly I don’t know how to get back there. I just seem to have no interest in being that healthy, happy, free person. I mean, don’t get me wrong I DO want to be that girl again but I just don’t seem to want to help myself get back to that. It’s hard to explain and I guess only a few people would understand what I mean, but I think you have to be ready to help yourself before you can make any changes. And right now I just can’t overcome that depressed, numb and emptiness that I’m feeling to get myself out.
I know that I can be that amazing, happy, life-loving person. I know (an extent) of my potential. I just need to be able to find how to get back to that.
I know Wally is in hidden in that picture somewhere. And I know I can find him, I have found him before. But right now I just don’t have the energy or desire to look for him. Hopefully someday soon I will sit down, take a good look at the picture and find him before I lose focus completely.