Writing my thoughts and feelings have always been my stronger point than expressing myself vocally, and sometimes physically. So I’m going to put into words the way I feel about you and when I’m around you. I read a quote somewhere recently that read “paper is more patient than man” and as soon as I read it I was like “YES! That is so true. That’s what I believe, but I just couldn’t put it into something so concise.” I’ve always used writing as a form of release and escape. Whenever I felt truly strong feelings about someone, whether it be anger, love, confusion, sadness, I would always write, sometimes a letter as if I would give it to them. But upon reflecting on the letter I realised that I didn’t necessarily need to give the letter to that person. The simple act of getting it out of my head onto paper was enough for me to process the feelings and move on.
This post however is slightly different as I have no intentions of moving on from these feelings, but I think I just want to get out these feelings so that if I ever lose them or forget, I can find them again and remember how I feel at this point in time.
First and foremost, I love you. I love you in every sense of the word. I love everything about you, even down to the tiny little things. But mostly, I love how you make me feel. I love how when I look at you, all my problems, insecurities, thoughts just seem to vanish. The very first time I realised this, I was in a public place, people, music and all kinds of noises surrounded me. And then I saw you. You walked right up to me and I felt as if there was no one else in the world. All the people disappeared, the music was no longer, and the entire place was silent. All I could see, all I could hear, all I could feel, was you. I’ve never felt like that about anyone in my entire 26 years of life. When I’m with you, everything feels like it is right, like the planets have aligned in the universe. Like there is no one else in this world except for you and me. It’s probably the scariest, yet most amazing feeling I have ever come across. I can’t help but smile when I look at you. I can’t help that warm, fuzzy feeling when you’re around. And only cold and loneliness surrounds me when you’re gone. I get tingles and my heart beats so fast at the mere thought of being in your company. I love feeling like the most safest place in this world is when I’m with you. You make everything crystal clear, you light up my life. I never really believed when people would say words like these about love or how someone can make them feel like this, and some days I still can’t believe myself saying it. But I truly know what people mean now when they talk about someone with such admiration and love.
I don’t know what else to say except for thank you. Thank you for showing me that a love like this exists. Thank you for everything that you are. Thank you for making me want to be the best person I can be.