Writer’s block

I’m annoyed. I’ve been wanting to blog a lot more lately while I’m still on uni holidays, but I just can’t find the motivation, or the words, or the ideas. Well I kind of have a few ideas and feelings that have been going on in my life, but I just don’t feel the desire to want to share them right now. I can’t find the words and sentences to express the things I want to.
I’ve been going through a lot of personal and identity realisations fairly recently, which have made me not like some of the characteristics I possess. And right now I don’t know how to change that. There are so many things I’m thinking about and saying to “Ugh, I hate that about myself” (not physically; because that’s a whole different story!) but just mentally and stuff.
I love learning things about myself, but sometimes I really hate it at the same time. And it also scares me too.
I’m also really struggling with some issues that has a lot to do with a certain friend that just won’t reply or answer my calls or anything. I haven’t spoken to him in about 3 months, and for a while I got over it and on with my own life, but lately I’ve been feeling really…ick and lost…about it. In some ways, right now I feel like he is my muse. Which is stupid. And then I hate myself even more for allowing my “talents” (which I don’t really consider to be talents) to be tied up in someone else. And it’s not that I’m in love with him or anything, I just really miss talking to him and hearing his wisdom and outlook on life.
Maybe I’m just being a whingey melancholy dick.

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2 thoughts on “Writer’s block

    • Thanks. I usually agree with talking things through, but right now I don’t even know where to begin, so I find it hard to get anything out. Knowing me, uni will start back and I’ll have a flood of wanting to write and post when I’m supposed to be doing readings or essays! Maybe I’m also just having going back to school kind of blues.

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