I think I like metaphors, or analogies (sometimes I’m unsure of the exact difference between them).
But anyway, due to my personality being very ‘in the moment’ and my inability to live in one spot for too long at a time, well…I was (am?) doing really well these days and where I’m at right now. I’ve lived in my current location for a whole year now with absolutely no sign of getting itchy feet to pick up and move again anytime soon (which is crazy for me!).
Until there was him. Firstly, he was a BIG reason for my desire to stay put. Though he wasn’t the only reason I wanted to stay, but he definitely was a factor.
And then, things went downhill. And while things were nearing the bottom, I started to question a lot of things. Too many things. And one of those things was ‘did I want to stay here in Melbourne?’. I toyed with the idea of picking up and moving again for a couple of days (mind you, while I was in a massively emotional and hormonal state). But nevertheless, my mind wandered around ideas of closing the door, moving, and starting afresh (again) or better known as…what I do best.
Until I went to training. So, about 6 months ago I joined a volunteer organisation and it’s been helping me in all sorts of ways, and one is taming the emotions and demons in my mind. So I went off to training one night and regained my purpose and desire to stay here. Everything kinda just clicked back into place. So what if things with him aren’t as good as I wanted them to be? I wasn’t going to let that stop me from enjoying my life and where I am at mentally right now. I had to put that shit behind me and move on. Pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep walking with my head held high and smile on my face.
As every (tough) situation in life…it teaches you what you need to learn. What I learnt from this was that I can’t let my negative emotions take over. Many a time in the past they used to. This time, I let them in, felt everything I needed to feel, then when I was ready, kicked them to the curb and said ‘seeya fuckers! I’m on the road that’s covered in flowers, smiles and sunshine’.
Good vibes, you keep comin’ at me. I fuckin’ love ya!
Happy weekend to all, and lots of peace and love.