Sometimes I think it would be so much easier just to hate you.
But truth be told it wouldn’t really do me any good to hate you, despite some days feel like that would be the easier road to take. But all in all, I couldn’t; because I’m not a hateful person; I’m all about spreading peace and love, so how could I support myself hating you (or anyone) when I am trying to promote forgiveness and love to all beings. Morally, I couldn’t. And, I won’t. But fuck, some days I really wish I could. Maybe then, I would start to get over you.
I just don’t know how else to play it this time. I have never felt this way about someone before. Once upon a time I wrote a post on how to get over someone, and so far I have exhausted all of my steps…but it’s just not working with this one. I don’t know what to do or how to get over this. The feelings I have for this person are nothing like I’ve ever felt before, so I don’t know if I will ever get over the way I feel for him.
And honestly, it fucking sucks.
He chose her over me; for convenience; which is fucked, right?
Hands down I have always, and will always choose my feelings over logic…but I guess not everyone is like that. And unfortunately, this time he chose what was more logical than how he really felt, and that didn’t work in my favour…and left me heartbroken, lost, confused and alone.
Why…oh why did you walk into my life, turn it around and upside down, then walk away like you want nothing to do with me?
Uggghhhh….learning lessons…is never easy.