Warning: this is going to be a pretty intense and deep post.
Something that I’ve been pondering the last few weeks, is that I am curious to know if it’s possible for someone to be suicidal without necessarily being depressed?
I kinda want to know people’s opinions on this before I spitball my thoughts, but I know that not too many people read my blog, and those that do, don’t really answer questions that I pose. Which is fine, I don’t have a problem with that, but sometimes it would be nice to have some sorts of discussions, especially on topics such as this one that really provokes me.
Anyway, I’ll just start and go through things that I think about these topics being related but don’t necessarily have to be linked.
I believe it’s highly possible to not want to have any more time on this earth; in this physical existence; without being severely, (or even remotely) depressed. While the fact of the matter is, yes, I have had multiple episodes of depression (and anxiety) that are directly linked to some suicidal thoughts, (and that many people do have these similar tendencies, but I want to talk about the idea that people might want out without necessarily being depressed); as I have also had times of wanting to end my life purely because I’ve had enough. Not in a fed-up way, and not in a tiresome-just get it over with way. Just in plain and simple ways like the feeling that I’m not supposed to be here for too long. I can never envisage myself as an older person, or married with kids, or a grandma whose grand-kids laugh at when I say silly things. I just don’t see those sorts of things for myself. It doesn’t scare me, and it doesn’t worry me at all. It just makes me think that I’m not going to be doing those things, and possibly won’t be here for years and years. And I’m completely comfortable with that. That being said, it doesn’t mean I will off myself tomorrow or anything, because sometimes I like to challenge myself and life to see where it will take me.
As a person who truly believes in reincarnation, why can’t it be possible that someone might want to get out of their current physical cage, to move onto the next one?
Side note: I was heavily struck down with tonsillitis as I began writing this which brings a lot of brain fog, so some of what I’m trying to say isn’t really working. So I apologise if it all sounds a little ludicrous; my main point is questioning if suicide always has to be directly correlated to depression.
When one commits suicide, we automatically jump to faults within ourselves saying things like “I never knew x was depressed”; or “I wish I could have helped y“. But I don’t think we ever stop to consider that maybe that person wasn’t depressed, maybe they just didn’t feel like they fit into this lifetime – I don’t necessarily see that as being directly related to depression. Maybe not all who commit suicide are in pain and want it to stop, so they think the only way out is to end it. Maybe, they’re not in pain at all; maybe they’re just comfortable with how their life has been and don’t see it progressing, so they quietly walk away. I guess the only problem with that is that you’re still giving pain and suffering to those around you; regardless of you being in pain yourself or not.
Is this all too far down the rabbit hole?
Does suicide always have to be linked to depression? What are your thoughts?