Suicide vs. Depression

Warning: this is going to be a pretty intense and deep post.

Something that I’ve been pondering the last few weeks, is that I am curious to know if it’s possible for someone to be suicidal without necessarily being depressed?

I kinda want to know people’s opinions on this before I spitball my thoughts, but I know that not too many people read my blog, and those that do, don’t really answer questions that I pose. Which is fine, I don’t have a problem with that, but sometimes it would be nice to have some sorts of discussions, especially on topics such as this one that really provokes me.

Anyway, I’ll just start and go through things that I think about these topics being related but don’t necessarilyΒ have to be linked.

Here’s why.

I believe it’s highly possible to not want to have any more time on this earth; in this physical existence; without being severely, (or even remotely) depressed. While the fact of the matter is, yes, I have had multiple episodes of depression (and anxiety) that are directly linked to some suicidal thoughts, (and that many people do have these similar tendencies, but I want to talk about the idea that people might want out without necessarily being depressed); as I have also had times of wanting to end my life purely because I’ve had enough. Not in a fed-up way, and not in a tiresome-just get it over with way. Just in plain and simple ways like the feeling that I’m not supposed to be here for too long. I can never envisage myself as an older person, or married with kids, or a grandma whose grand-kids laugh at when I say silly things. I just don’t see those sorts of things for myself. It doesn’t scare me, and it doesn’t worry me at all. It just makes me think that I’m not going to be doing those things, and possibly won’t be here for years and years. And I’m completely comfortable with that. That being said, it doesn’t mean I will off myself tomorrow or anything, because sometimes I like to challenge myself and life to see where it will take me.

As a person who truly believes in reincarnation, why can’t it be possible that someone might want to get out of their current physical cage, to move onto the next one?

Side note: I was heavily struck down with tonsillitis as I began writing this which brings a lot of brain fog, so some of what I’m trying to say isn’t really working. So I apologise if it all sounds a little ludicrous; my main point is questioning if suicide always has to be directly correlated to depression.

When one commits suicide, we automatically jump to faults within ourselves saying things like “I never knew xΒ was depressed”; or “I wish I could have helped y“. But I don’t think we ever stop to consider that maybe that person wasn’t depressed, maybe they just didn’t feel like they fit into this lifetime – I don’t necessarily see that as being directly related to depression. Maybe not all who commit suicide are in pain and want it to stop, so they think the only way out is to end it. Maybe, they’re not in pain at all; maybe they’re just comfortable with how their life has been and don’t see it progressing, so they quietly walk away.Β I guess the only problem with that is that you’re still giving pain and suffering to those around you; regardless of you being in pain yourself or not.

Is this all too far down the rabbit hole?

Does suicide always have to be linked to depression? What are your thoughts?


7 thoughts on “Suicide vs. Depression

  1. I feel like 99% of the time they would be linked, even feeling like you don’t fit it is surely a part of depression. I’m finding it hard to put into words what I’m trying to say and feel like this would be a good discussion to have in person πŸ™‚ hope you are feeling better soon, all us girls here are germy too. I was just thinking last night I hadn’t seen any blog posts from you in ages

    • Yeah, I agree that it would be a very high percentage that they are linked, I just don’t think it’s 100%. I don’t know how to describe and explain the feelings and thoughts I have on my suicidal tendencies that don’t stem from depression. But maybe somewhere in my subconscious it does come from depression?…I don’t know.
      I miss writing. My brain has just been too lost and overwhelmed to even get anything out lately. Hopefully that’s on the mend πŸ™‚ as I hope you and the girlies are too! Being sick is the worst. The last time (which was the first time in my life) I was this ill and had tonsillitis was the day of your hens…and then wedding.
      Thanks for the comment/discussion on this though πŸ™‚

    • I knew some people out there would understand what I’m getting at πŸ™‚
      I think this all roughly surfaced in my mind after that conversation about writing a will actually.

  2. Hi Olivia πŸ™‚ Ok, I totally had that “oh someone’s like me” moment when you wrote that you feel like you aren’t supposed to be here too long. It’s been a while now that I often feel the same way. Honestly I feel a sense of urgency to do things I want to do within the next few years. To me living another ten years should be enough… I can’t imagine living 50 more years really. Sometimes I have suicidal ideation because I am depressed, usually at night, but other times I’m simply imagining my back up plan some day, or feel like I’m alien and don’t fit into this life. So yes, I agree you can be depressed, or not depressed, maybe it’s partly personality. Because I am skeptical that my particular consciousness will go on after death, it’s not off the table, but more as a last resort. People may not agree with how I feel, but that is how I feel.

    • Not everyone has to agree with how you feel. Your life journey isn’t for them to understand or agree with; it’s for you.
      And I’m glad you could relate, as it makes me feel less crazy!
      Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, I admire it πŸ™‚

  3. Oh hi!

    Yes, you can definitively be suicidal without being depressed but you’re asking the wrong question.

    Suicide is humanity’s greatest taboo. There is no idea more demonized, more hated yet more positive than suicide. The link between mental illness and suicide is often used to discredit it. The idea is, if you don’t think clearly then you can’t make decisions over your own body.

    So that leads us to raping you because you if you can’t consent to living, what CAN you consent to?

    The point I’m making is that suicide is a basic right. It’s a rational decision more often than it’s not and the demonization needs to end. I don’t care if someone was depressed and that’s why they killed themselves. They considered this a legitimate move and I will respect that.

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