I find the notion behind saying “it’s your loss not mine” to be a very hurtful one. For example, if someone said to me after a discussion which was resulting in a potential loss of friendship/relationship between us that this was “your loss and not mine”, it is as if I would be the one to “lose” without having them in my life. Which; yes, may very well be true, but to me there is a deeper issue that strikes me, and that is the fact that X obviously doesn’t consider me or our relationship to be anything special. There doesn’t seem to be much value placed in the relationship if X thinks it’s all my loss that our relationship has deteriorated, and to me that’s like a massive kick in the guts to hear that from someone, especially someone who is considered to be close, or a relative etc.
Maybe people have thought this all along? I don’t know, but I only came to this realisation over the last week or so. It just feels really
upsetting heartbreaking that X wouldn’t bother or care about putting much (if any) effort into making the relationship work because X wouldn’t “lose out” so much if the relationship fizzled out to nothing, like X wouldn’t care if he/she lost me. Which is really a horrible thing to feel and hear. I hope that makes sense..? It does in my head but I don’t really know how to get the words out onto paper, mostly because I came down with a hardcore flu a couple of days ago and my head is still a little hazy.
Oh also, I see it as a bit of a “I’m too good for you” kind of attitude as well. Which is complete and utter bullshit. No one is too good (or better) than anyone. We are all equal, and the minute people start believing they are “too good” for something or someone, they will live a very lonely and unhappy life. Lower your expectations people!